Dipping Eggs

As you may have sensed, I have been struggling to come up with topics for my blog. My creative juices have not been flowing. I went back to the drawing board and started to think…What is something that a lot of people don’t know about? Well, I think I may have found something that may come as a shock to many of my readers. Mainly, to those readers that do not have the pleasure to eat breakfast with me.

Today, I confess that I have not consumed a cooked egg in over 20 years. Yes, you read that right. That means no omelets, scramblers, deviled eggs, pickled eggs, over easy eggs, sun side up eggs, hard boiled eggs, eggs Benedict, poached eggs…Am I missing any? (Developing that list was somewhat difficult, as I really do not even pay attention to the egg portion of breakfast menus and I didn’t want to waste time googling types of eggs).

Well there are a lot of cooked eggs that I am apparently missing out on. Kris and Laura frequently point out how fabulous eggs taste and try to pressure me into sampling a bite of their breakfast spreads. I just cannot bring myself to do it; despite the fact that I usually love the other ingredients like cheese, veggies, and chorizo that are associated with eggs. I must confess that I really do not have the courage to put a piece of cooked egg in my mouth. The notion has crossed my mind momentarily, but I instantly get a knot in my stomach and almost gag at the thought. I don’t know if any of you have gone 20 years without eating something but it is really difficult to bring yourself to try it.

You may be wondering why do I have such an aversion for cooked eggs…or not? Well, as silly as this story is I will share it with you and then you will be able to understand my extreme fear for cooked eggs.

Flashback to some random morning in 1990 in Janesville, WI. It was likely a weekend morning as my mom had prepared dipping eggs, otherwise known as sunny side up, and toast for the family. This morning’s breakfast started off no different than the previous breakfasts that I had experienced over the years. Once my plate was in front of me, I slathered my toast with butter and proceeded to dip the slices into the not quite gel, not quite liquid yellow yolk. (Side note: my stomach just turned as I wrote that sentence…eggs frighten me). Knowing how much I love food I probably devoured roughly 3 dipping eggs and 4 slices of toast that morning. At the time, I did not know that these would be the last cooked eggs that I would consume in my lifetime.

Following the breakfast, I scurried upstairs to get dressed and brush my teeth. I stopped at the bathroom first to get the brushing out of the way. I took a quick glance in the mirror and noticed that I had some yellow residue on the side of my cheek. As you can probably guess this was just some of the dipping yolk that missed my mouth. Whoops, apparently I was a sloppy eater. Well, most people would probably think nothing of the yellow substance and proceed to wash it off and then brush their teeth.

Not me! I instantly concocted a story that the yellow streak on my face was not just the yolk but it was actually the chicken’s pee. All I could think about was that I had chicken pee on my face and it came from those damn dipping eggs. Yuck, gross! Within a few seconds, I had completely convinced myself that the yellow portion of eggs was pee. This may seem silly and ridiculous but I stuck with it and have not touched a cooked egg since that morning. 20 years later and still no eggs. Pretty crazy but I am guessing my breakfast eating habits will not change anytime soon. I will likely continue to avoid the consumption of eggs at all costs.

Side note: you may have wondered why I always wrote cooked eggs during this blog. For some reason, I have ZERO qualms with uncooked eggs, as I frequently will eat a helping of raw cookie dough or cake batter. I am usually the first in line to lick the mixer or spatula. Seems a bit ironic.

Hope I didn’t turn anyone else away from cooked eggs!

Enjoy,

The Bean Spiller